questioning the end.

I was listening to the radio on the way back from the gym with my dad today and the program was finishing off with questions to ask we reflect on the last year and begin the next year-the Christian version. Although I didn't hear all of the questions, I found them thought provoking and so here is my adapted version:

1. What lessons did God teach you this year?

2. How did you serve Him and His people this year?

3. In what ways were you broken for His promises?

4. Where did you fall short, feel broken, but were restored this year?

5. What person, friend or foe, did you learn to love as he asks us to love this year?

6. What circumstance did He give you power you overcome this year?

7. Who stood by you, prayed for you, pushed you, challenged you, served you, discipled you this year?

8. What did He say to you in prayer this year?

9. How did your quiet times grow this year?

10. How are you more like the person He wants you to be right now versus January 2010?

I'm sure there are many other questions to ask and other things to contemplate...but I was extremely challenged today as I listened to this and I hope that as you reflect this new years it can be more than just about resolutions but looking back and looking forward to become the people He wants us to be.

a post in progress

5 points:

1) today i shared with someone the testimony of my college career. some of you reading this might not know the details, but it still brings me to tears thinking how my God loves me so much to hold on to my heart the way he did. i haven't shared my testimony in a while and hearing myself brought me to tears in front of this younger sister. what was even crazier was that it made me realize that my story is not only precious to me, but it's precious to my Lord. that my story could be used in some convoluted way in people's lives who are going through sort of similar circumstances.

2)i've thought for a long time that i want to do ministry in the future, but today it hit me that the ministry that i'm doing now is the future. and oh what JOY it is.

3) when R came this past week, i loved talking to her. C said that when I interacted with R i reverted back to my freshman self. it's been humbling thinking through this and realizing that the ways i confided in her and wanted advice or just someone to listen or someone to take care of me or something like that could be what i am doing now. it challenges me to love more, to care more, to be more available, to serve more...but this also leads to point 4

4) this weekend i had a great time of rest. i woke up late i read the Bible. i bummed on my bed thinking. i invested little. it's crazy how you can process joy and blessings when you're not exhausted. lesson: in ministry you need times of rest.

5) i'm not married, but Say Your Name by Bethany Dillon has been on repeat. at times these days are spinning by and i am just trying to find a moment with Him.

God provides

Just a quick note:

One of the hard parts about being a young adult is that you have a bit of money to play with. I made a budget early on which consisted basically on living expenses, savings, tithe, loan pay off, serving money, food, extra essentials, and any extra save for missions money. This month though a few unexpected expenses came up such as my car breaking down, Christmas parties, an electric bill double the normal amount etc. Because of this, during this entire week I've been struggling and thinking about how to balance this; should I save less, should I pay off less of my student loan, etc. Ultimately the question was which big chunk of money that goes out on a monthly basis could cushion a smaller amount this month. These extra expenditures cut into my budget in very odd ways and I couldn't help feeling like pressured to not ask my parents for cushion and to just readjust my budget to make it work. In my attempts to rework my budget I kept falling a certain amount short. (I have never felt the pressure of being short). Within my prayers continued to be the words, "Lord I'm trying, but I just can't seem to do it this month. I'm not going to be short, I just don't want to skimp on things I should be doing such as paying off the amount I feel like you've called me because of these other expenditures." But sure enough upon returning home today, I had a letter (for graduation- several months late) with money. Just enough to cover exactly my extra expenses for the month.
I won't say I was fervently praying for provision or that I am so in tune with God as this may seem, but I can say I felt like he was saying "well done my good and faithful servant".

Eu quero te servir, eu quero te obedecer
Viver tua vontade, refletir tua verdade
Te honrar com minha vida, em tudo te adorar
Mestre, amigo, amado Jesus
Esse é o meu querer.
Cada vez que eu tocar num ombro amigo
Cada vez que eu fizer o que já não se faz
Cada vez que, em silêncio, eu doar a outra face
Serei tuas mãos, venha tua graça e o teu amor

a death and 2 announcements

announcement 1:
i'm sure you've noticed, or maybe you haven't, but i stopped commenting on my reading throughout this month. Rest assured, I am NOT done, but I WILL finish by the 30th. But the real reason I stopped writing was because it became too much about reading to have something to have something to post and the emphasis on all the things in this previous post got lost in the midst. also, i started to feel a little like a preacher, which i'm not, and less like a girl working on her faith.

announcement 2:

this blog has gone through many changes,

at first it was about blessings

then

it was about sorrow

then

it became about Bible reading

and now

i'm confused about its direction

so...the blog as it stands is about to be killed.

the initial goal was to document my year as it was set aside to sacrifice and grow. my year is still about growth. it's still about imperfect sacrifices. there will still be great moments and hard moments. and most importantly God will still be present in the midst of it all.

i'm just uncertain about how to document all of this. so there might be sporadic posts. or maybe i'll start posting more regularly with daily posts. or...the possibilities are endless. so i'm leaving you hanging a little bit, but i think it's better than you thinking i fell off the face of the earth.

have you ever...

felt so blessed you are in awe that people could be so blessing?
felt so loved you because of pie for your birthday?
felt so cared for by all the people you care for?
been overwhelmed by the way God does community?

honestly, i'm still in complete awe. the theme of my year has been love...or give love, but last night I was given love so far beyond the love that i give.

when i find my words again, i will come back and describe.

for now I will leave you with this
Philemon 1:7
For we have great joy and consolation in your love, because the heart of the saints have been refreshed by you, brother.

love language.

For all those who are not with my Grace Covenant Church circles.
One of my friends started the Jubilee Project, where they make videos for good causes. They've been doing an awesome job raising money for LiNK (Liberty in North Korea), Liberian Widows Initiative, and many others. Here is their most recent video. Sponsors are donating 1 penny per view-so watch and share!

delinquent poster

but I leave you with this.

Joshua 3:5
Joshua told the people, “Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the LORD will do amazing things among you."

day 3/4:leviticus (where are you numbers?)

so I'm a book behind, about right now I should be finishing numbers and I'm just finishing Leviticus. I'm going to have to find some extra time this weekend to catch up.

but here's a post since I didn't get to it yesterday.

Leviticus...you are a book full of laws and many many sacrifices...but...you have taught me.
1) I am so thankful for Jesus because I'm not sure how they remembered how much oil to mix with the grain dependent on the cooking method (see leviticus 2). No, but really, It's pretty amazing the work that they went through to keep themselves clean and yet how much do we take for granted this grace we are given. Even more so, I think the lesson is in the consciousness of sin. Often times I think that I sin without a second thought or as a natural reaction to something, but if I had to find a certain ram of a certain age then cut it and give a certain amount of blood while taking the body minus certain body parts to be burned in a certain way...ugh...I get tired thinking about it...the point is, does it take all that to make me conscious of my sin?

2) There were a few verses I really liked
10:3 And Moses said to Aaron, "This is what the LORD spoke, saying: 'By those who come near Me I must be regarded as holy; And before all the people I must be glorified.'" This is after the sons of Aaron are devoured because they offered a profane offering. May I always give my offerings purely. May this month of partying be pure of heart.
15:31 "Thus you shall separate the children of Israel from their uncleanness, lest they die in their uncleanness when they defile My tabernacle that is among them." The law is in place to protect their Israelites from themselves. The picture in my head of a baby who is willing to sit in it's own fecal matter. It could sit there and play in it and not even really mind. But the problem is that there is so much filth and bacteria that will cause it to get sick and die leaving behind a place completely defiled and gross. This is like what God is saying to the Israelites. You are willing to sit in your fecal matter, but I am putting these things in place so that you will not do this and die.

Numbers come soon :)

Overwhelmed by life and God right now. Reading for this crazy challenge has made God so real in every second (because I seriously have been reading like constantly just to keep up with my goal), but honestly, so exhausting. There are convictions left and right. Where do I begin?

On a separate note, I'm going to train for a sprint (maybe olympic...depending on how this goes) triatholon in June of 2011. Anyone up to do some running? biking? swimming with me? I've been wanting to do this for a while. I was looking up some stuff on it yesterday and I found a 7 month training schedule. I have 7 months until the end of my anoauxano. So perfect. So here we go.

More on these new developments later :)

Wake up to Jesus

I added a new song for your morning :)
 (Check the grooveshark-->)

Extremely blessed by this.

In the morning, when I rise
In the morning, when I rise
In the morning, when I rise

Give me Jesus.
Give me Jesus, 
Give me Jesus.
You can have all this world,
Just give me Jesus.

day 2: exodus

i'm behind already in my schedule of reading/posting. AH. I will do this!


But my post for yesterday: 
i find comfort in knowing that even moses was at times insecure in his abilities.


Exodus 4:10-13
Then Moses said to the LORD, “O my Lord, I am not eloquent, neither before nor since You have spoken to Your servant; but I am slow of speech and slow of tongue.” So the LORD said to him, “Who has made man’s mouth? Or who makes the mute, the deaf, the seeing, or the blind? Have not I, the LORD?  Now therefore, go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall say.” But he said, “O my Lord, please send by the hand of whomever else You may send.” 

fruits

**please imagine me saying this as you read it because it will probably not be coherent, but i'm just really happy**

seriously, God is soooo good. 

sometimes i get discouraged at how I serve him, but in so many small ways this week he's been encouraging me.

i know with certainty that it's him, not me. and with that certainty...it feels so much better. i let go of the insecurity that i'm not schooled enough or wise enough or loving enough. 

i'm super encouraged by welcoming. i feel the barriers breaking, i feel relationships building, i feel God moving, i feel love in that room. it's amazing. when i first "took over" welcoming i told them that to love this church, we must love one another. there must be growth in our individual lives which would produce love among the team which would then overflow into the church. not sure if anyone else feels it...but it's growing and it's awesome. 

day 1: Genesis

I love the creation story, because when I think of it it's like this perfect God creating one of those box models we made in elementary school and putting in everything He wanted it in it. I can almost see Him smiling ("it was good") as each little piece was put in perfectly. I mean, I know this isn't what's happening, but to me there's this kind of childlike joy in this perfect creation He's made. I realize that it doesn't stay like that, but for the first chapter of the Word, it's pretty sweet.

I love how in Genesis we see God revealing different sides/character of Himself, it's like He wants us to know who He is from the beginning of this scripture book He's given us. This is such good deals (as some would say).
1:26 - trinity
all of chapter 1- creator God (Elohim)
1:21 - sacrifice
8:21 - forgiving
16:13 - the God who Sees (El Roi)
17:1 - Almighty God (El Shaddai)
22:14-15 - the God who provides (Jehovah-Jireh)

There are 2 verses that break my heart in Genesis and I can't get over them as they ring in my head.
Genesis 2:18 - It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.
Genesis 3:16 - To the woman He said: I will greatly multiply your sorrow and conception; In pain you shall bring forth children; Your desire shall be for your husband, And he shall rule over you.
The word comparable in the chapter 2 verse is what gets me. She was made a helper comparable. Not less than, not weaker than, not less wise than, not less able, but comparable. But this comparability is not anymore because now in chapter 3 because of sin- he rules over her. Submission because of Eve's sin. It's ok, I'm not going to rant and rave about submission because I believe in submission - to me I'm ok with Him having this role. It just boggles my mind that Eve's sin caused comparable to go to less than. I think it's because I'm a sister who is in this age where all my friends are getting married, I just can't get over how this woman could be so weak - and in her weakness brings her husband with her.

Sorry to end on a strange note.

I will add further later today on what I read since this was yesterday's post...which I didn't get to because of the 8 hour hangout with my family group B-1! (shameless plug)

PARTY!!!

I was meeting up with Y yesterday and she asked my birthday...and so I said November...

and then it hit me! It's my birthday month!...and I almost forgot!

Wow. I should PARTY. 

live it up. 

I'm just getting old.

so I should PARTY.

while I can still walk.

I mean, I can barely stay up past 9:30pm these days.

so my time is short.

Ok, but for real,

I started thinking how I should celebrate

the fact that this is my first birthday

where there will be no exams

to cloud the PARTYING.

But after a much more coherent strain of thoughts,

I started thinking about how I want to begin my 24th year of life

I have 2 years until the quarter-century mark

Did you ever have those thoughts:

By the time I'm 25 I'll be...fill in the blank.

consistent in my walk

settled at a job

married

serving

I've fluctuated on my fill in the blanks, but when I think of it now,

I live so much on who I want to be that day

if God is good today, I will be joyful

if I have meetings, I will be tired

if I have time, I'll invest in people

Ok, I guess that's not so much how my thoughts go everyday,

but subconsciously, honestly, I can see the fluctuations

in my emotions/attitudes depending on the external/environmental. 

I am grateful that the Lord has grown me to realize that

the measure of my faith is no longer in a place of such fluctuation,

but often I am not working towards the person I want to be

then.

So this birthday month, I want to work on that person.

I want to work on the person I want to be then.

Not living outside of the present, 

but living with purpose to be the

woman I know God wants me to be

then.

Please celebrate my birthday month with me 

and join me in this endeavor

I will be reading through the Old Testament throughout the month of November. 

I hope that as I do this, 

He will encourage me to be 

extravagant

in the ways that I live out my life for Him.

To not just expect growth, but push for growth.

To live every year with a purpose.

As He has lead his people through and out of the wilderness

He has cared for them

He has rebuked them and taught them through His prophets

He prepared the way for His glory to come down as man

He has used men and women of faith

to do His will.

I know that this month

 He will lead me and you out of our wildernesses

He will care for us

He will rebuke and teach us through His prophets

He will prepare the way for more of His glory to come down on our hearts

He will use the men and women of faith to

increase our faith to do His will.

Come let us be extravagant.

PARTY WITH ME FOR MY BIRTHDAY MONTH.

*I hope to post daily a verse/passage that has encouraged me,and I hope that if you join me

you too will feel the urging to post either anonymously or not*

**We are already down 5 days...so let's get to it!**

proud.

post has been removed.
i am sorry if there were hurt feelings because i picked specific pictures.

i am proud of you and the way you serve.

PASSION

= abundant peace

When the shame and hidden hurts are released.

= overwhelming gratitude 

When I look upon this congregation worshiping God in broken abandonment and I realize that NYC is not even worth it

 

= sufficiency greater than my insufficiency

When I am not capable of leading, teaching, discipling, loving; but God is.

take care of my fish. thanks :D

Had some things on my mind lately...and they go a little like these quotes/verses.

"To fall in love with God is the greatest of all romances; To seek Him, the greatest adventure."
-St. Augustine


Jesus said, "God's spirit is on me; he's chosen me to preach the message of good news to the poor, sent me to announce pardon to prisoners and recover of sight to the blind, to set the burdened and battered free, to announce, 'This is God's year to act'."- Luke 4

Though the fig tree does not blossom, and no fruit is on the vines; though the produce of the olive fails and the fields yield no food; though the flock is cut off from the fold and there is no herd in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I will exult in the God of my salvation. Habakkuk 3:17-18


My child, eat honey, for it is good, and the drippings of the honeycomb are sweet to your taste. Know that wisdom is such to your soul; if you find it, you will find a future, and your hope will not be cut off. Proverbs 24:13-14

young ADULT

I'm so tired of cafeteria food...so I decided to make my own freezer meals. I'm so excited and I'm blogging about it to one day return here and remember my first domestic moment.

I made:

Black beans with corn, tomatoes, and peas

Jambalaya

Chicken curry

Chicken Torte (kind of like bread-y with chicken and veggies)

Rice pudding 

Pumpkin-Cranberry biscotti. 

This equals 9 frozen rice and entrée frozen meals; 6 entrée size chicken torte meals (not sure how this will freeze/unfreeze, but cross your fingers :D); 7 rice pudding cups, and 15 biscotti cookies (otherwise known as breakfast). All in 3.5 hours.

Considering I can spend anywhere between $2 and $7 per lunch at the cafeteria at work and I did all of this for $50. So that goes for $3.33 for lunches. YAY for saving money, eating good food, and being domestic :D.

I feel accomplished. 

I've been"if" thinking today. If I moved then...If I had more time then...If I did YA stuff then...If I decided to go back to school then...If I etcera etcera. 

But then I thought some more and I realize that:

If I had not come to Penn, then I would not have the friendships or experiences that have changed me in to a different person

If I had not overslept Big Fat Breakfast those 2 Sundays Freshman Year I would probably never have come to GCC or have the community that has been with me and taught me.

If I had not talked to the praise band leader that one Sunday, then I would never have gone to family group where God met me in many ways and provided me with older sisters to challenge me.

If I had not utterly messed up Sophomore year, crushing a friendship really hard, and falling so far from God, then I would not know restoration, I would not understand forgiveness, I would not have been able to realize how God held on to me despite my rebellion, hatred, and mistrust. 

If I had not had an older sister who chose to disciple me, meet with me weekly, memorize the Word with me throughout the Summer despite the distance, I would not crave discipleship, I would not have learned the need for older sisters who are open and willing to sacrifice time to pour in to people despite their need to grow.

If I had not served Senior year, I would not have had the chance to have two relationships with people who love God so much that they push me to want fervor in my prayer life, to want to give up all my plans for God's, who want true and Christ-like relationships. 

If I had gone my way and run away from His calling for my life for this year, then I would have been in Connecticut working, but I would not have experienced the joy of ministry in such a powerful way.

Basically, God knows best.

Many are the plans in a man's heart,
       but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.
Proverbs 19:21

wow. that was easy.

sometime it seems like God is gracious and gives us the easy button.

"Because you did not listen to the voice of the Lord, mark my words: When you leave me, a lion will kill you." -1 Kings 20:36

book scouring

My definition of fun has changed a bit since last year, but now a days I long for days when I can go sit at my favorite spot on Kelly Drive with a bag of grapes, a nalgene full of water, and a book. Honestly, I often don't get too far in my reading before I take a nice long nap with the sun beating against my back...but it's the perfect way to spend the afternoon after a God-filled, worship-full morning. 

BUT...

My book list is getting short...therefore, here is where you come in!

If you'd like you can refer back to this post, but generally all suggestions of thought-provoking, or fun, or challenging, or anything that comes with a spine would be alright. :D

ALSO...

I'm looking for an old-school hardback copy of Shadow of the Almighty. And by "looking" I mean I've gone in to every used bookstore I know...so if you happen to stumble into a bookstore...and happen to remember me...I'll pay you back:D

mental pictures

Throughout my life I've always had this wish that I could taken pictures of moments I live through, kind of like having a photographer following me around and taking pretty pictures of moments. I mentally take the picture, hang it up, and go back to it from time to time to remember how good God is or how blissful fun moments are or how beautiful an experience was. Unfortunately this wall of pictures is not real, but the mental one is pretty amazing. This week I've had a lot of pictures added to my wall - moments that I will always remember, words people said that will forever strike me. 

M. thank you for the 4 hr talk that encouraged me to seek out discipleship

B. thank you for being vulnerable and allowing me to be your older sister

A. thank you for a dinner where your heart was so clear and apparent

C. thank you for your happiness in the little things in life

L. thank you for your motherly ways though you are younger than me

S. thank you for reminding me many times of who i once was but how God has changed me

I. thank you for your love for family group that is never ceasing

C. thank you for being vulnerable and transparent while sharing, it pushes me to want to go deeper

J. thank you for always treating me like i'm a great older sister, though i am lacking

K. thank you for your heart for people that goes beyond what I can ever imagine

C/O. thank you for laughter- I haven't laughed so hard in a long time.

C. thank you for being my sister that I need to goof and speak truth at all times

These and many more moments take my breath away. God is so good to me.

repost with an edit:

it's a big scary world out there.

Lord, may I see Your plans when I am fearful.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11

_________________________________

Edit 10/14/2010:

Excerpt from girlTalk:

I’ve discovered that most of the bad things I imagined never actually came true. But there have been other trials—ones I never anticipated.

That’s why Elisabeth Elliot’s wise advice has been invaluable to me in fighting fear: “There is no grace for your imagination.”

God does not sprinkle grace over every path my fear takes. He does not rush in with support and encouragement for every doomsday scenario I can imagine.

No, instead He warns me to stay off those paths: “Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil” (Ps. 37:8).      

There is no grace for our imagination. That’s why our fearful imaginings produce bad fruit: anxiety, lack of joy, futile attempts to control.

There is no grace for our imagination. But God does promise sufficient, abundant grace for every real moment of our lives. That’s why the Proverbs 31 woman can “laugh at the future in contrast with being worried or fearful about it” (ESV Study Bible note on Pr. 31:25)

my Lord, You are AMAZING. Your love astounds me. 

When I feel loveless, Your love RESTORES me. 

I cannot imagine my life without this. 

You have told me: 

Look at the nations and watch—and be utterly amazed.
For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, 
even if you were told.

[Habakkuk 1:4-6]

Thank you for your PROMISES. 

whisper softly to me 

share your heart with me

on repeat.

I grew up in Sunday school,
I memorized the Golden Rule,

And how Jesus came

To set the sinner free...

I know the story inside-out,

And I can tell you all about

The path that led Him up

To Calvary...

But ask me why He loves me,

And I don't know what to say -

But I'll never be the same,

Bacause He changed my life when He became...

Everything to Me -

He's more than a story,

More than words on a page of history

He's the Air that I breathe,

The Water I thirst for,

And the Ground beneath my feet --

He's Everything...

Everything to Me...

We're living in uncertain times,

And more and more, I find

That I'm aware of just

How fragile life can be...

I want to tell the world I've found

A love that turned my life around -

They need to know

That they can taste and see...

Now every day, I'm praying

Just to give my heart away

I want to live for Jesus

So that someone else might see that He is...

Everything to Me -

He's more than a story,

More than words on a page of history

He's the Air that I breathe,

The Water I thirst for,

And the Ground beneath my feet --

Oh, He's Everything...

And looking back over my life at the end,

I'm gonna meet You,

Saying You've been

Everything to Me -

You're more than a story,

More than words on a page of history...

You're Everything to Me -

You're more than a story,

More than words on a page of history

You're the Air that I breathe,

The Water I thirst for,

And the Ground beneath my feet --

You're Everything...

Lord, You're Everything to Me...

Everything to Me...

You're Everything to Me, Jesus...

Everything to Me...

The Air I breathe, the Song I sing...

Oh-oh...

Everything to Me...

You're my Life and my All, yeah -

You're Everything..

J introduced this song to me as her life song...but for reals...this is my lifesong. seriously just playing on repeat over and over. Everything To Me by Avalon.

in need of food inspiration for Friday...

any thoughts?

What I was made for...

I love the fact that my e-mail box is flooded with meet-ups and hang-outs :D

I could bask in this happy life for a while. :D

I'm sorry but...

It seems as though we cannot continue on as such. We've had a good run. Think about all of the times we've shared and the memories you hold. You have been so good to me for this time period in my life, but it seems as though we can no longer hold on to this relationship. I mean, we should have ended four months ago, and it just seems unfair to continue on pretending things are the same. You say try for 6 more months, but it really doesn't seem right. There is too much baggage, too much junk, too much old stuff that is cluttering the present and the new. 

Thank you enakano [at] sas [dot] upenn [dot] edu, but you are expiring and I am moving on. 

so proud

we are one :

it's a big scary world out there.

Lord, may I see Your plans when I am fearful.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11

_________________________________

Edit 10/14/2010:

Excerpt from girlTalk:

I’ve discovered that most of the bad things I imagined never actually came true. But there have been other trials—ones I never anticipated.

That’s why Elisabeth Elliot’s wise advice has been invaluable to me in fighting fear: “There is no grace for your imagination.”

God does not sprinkle grace over every path my fear takes. He does not rush in with support and encouragement for every doomsday scenario I can imagine.

No, instead He warns me to stay off those paths: “Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil” (Ps. 37:8).       

There is no grace for our imagination. That’s why our fearful imaginings produce bad fruit: anxiety, lack of joy, futile attempts to control.

There is no grace for our imagination. But God does promise sufficient, abundant grace for every real moment of our lives. That’s why the Proverbs 31 woman can “laugh at the future in contrast with being worried or fearful about it” (ESV Study Bible note on Pr. 31:25)

sometimes...

i want to anonymously post something somewhere super public (i.e. times square)

In case you forgot since 2 posts ago...

I LOVE B-1. 

My family. 

Sundays

I love Sundays because I get to chill out with God and His people, but also because it's my day of relaxing and chilling...call it necessary for my introverted-self.

This week I'm COOKING and BAKING yummiiessss...

I'm thinking about these...


don't they look yummy?? (sweet and spicy peach pies)

and maybe this...

(smokey veggie quiche)

Or maybe...since it's getting a little colder...I'll round out my food journey with some Japanese food

Sukiyake

excited :D

My dearest B-1:

I'm soooo excited! I've been praying for you, I've been begging God to teach me to lead you, I have been waiting in expectation of the year that our Lord is preparing for us!


Now I know your faces. Now I can pray for you personally. Now I have met you and am geting to know you! 

B-1. be one. 

 And when they had prayed, the place where they were assembled together was shaken; and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit, and they spoke the word of God with boldness. Now the multitude of those who believed were of one heart and one soul; neither did anyone say that any of the things he possessed was his own, but they had all things in common. - Acts 4:31-32


May this be true. May we be prayer warriors. May the Holy Spirit move among us as we meet. May we speak with boldness of our Lord. May we BE ONE in heart and soul as we share these things. 

songs

Sometimes when listening to worship/praise music I get really sad about the people around me. It makes me so sad that they can't experience the freedom and the worship in these songs. Next to their not knowing our Savior, Lord, Father, Friend- the fact that they cannot join in this worship makes me deeply sad. I feel like the contentment and the join that fills me as I worship our Lord would bring smiles and freedom to so many people in this world.

I'm so glad God created music, I just wish that we could just sing to Him all our lives.

By day the LORD directs his love, at night his song is with me— a prayer to the God of my life.- Psalm 42:8

wonder and amazement.

I have been pretty anxious about this year, especially when it comes to serving, leading, and growing up. Oh a phone call on my way to FNL this past Friday, I was speaking w/ C. about how I really didn't want to go. Not to discourage my college readers, it's not that I don't love you, but for the first time I realized that this is a "college thing". It had been a long day at work and I was beginning to see what others were saying when they spoke about being exhausted by work and then still having to have the energy of a college student. 

Though I was being whinny and reluctant, God had a plan to restore me and encourage me.

Isn't this always the case?

Sometimes I'm overwhelmed by how he just takes care of me. Though he has so many other children to love and care for, he takes time for me. To show me that he's going out of his way because he cares about what I feel and what I'm going through. Sometimes I feel like God loves me the most. (This is not Biblical I know, but it's incomprehensible to me how he could love us all with this crazy individuality!)

It was a fun time of games and etcetera, finally P. D. said a 5-10 minute mini-sermon. WOW. It was clearly very freshman-directed- make your decisions carefully, work towards the person you want to be in four years, come out the other end happy with who you have become and what you stand for. I was so moved. I sat there thinking back on my four years. If I began to tell you who I meant to become when I came in as a freshman, we'd be here hours, but know that it is not who I became. I sat there in tears so overwhelmed by how God has held on to me so tight these four years, especially in the moments I wanted to run and hide. I sat there not consumed by the poor choices I made, but the amazing renewal He gave me. I sat there so extremely thankful that He cared for me to allow me to experience everything that I did and how he has been so patient with me as I have stumbled and tripped over following his plans into young adulthood.  

My choices were not always the right ones, but He has given me the heart to seek Him through those choices. Though I had many bumps and bruises- My God is mighty. 

waiting...

Lately I've been having CRAZY dreams. I don't know what they mean. Some of them are so real that when I wake up I don't know if they actually happened or not. They're so vivid it's crazy.

Whilst reading through Daniel, I wish more and more that God would bring me someone like Daniel to interpret my dreams...

WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME? I'M LISTENING....

bookworms

For my fellow bookworms, Cumberland Valley Bible Book service, specializes in Reformed and Puritan works is having their 'Annual Customer Appreciation Sale' today and tomorrow (September 8 and 9). In my quick glances books are significantly cheaper than cover price. Just thought I passed on the info as it was given to me :D

sometimes old friends are just the pick up that we need. :D

move-in

I was just reading C's blog post (who by the way probably has no clue that I even read his blog...maybe a little creepy, but nonetheless) about moving in and it struck me that I will not be moving it.

H will not move into Magee
J will not yell at people for breathing too loudly while studying
R and C will no longer have funny fights
C and K will not be walking with me to church on Sundays
K will not stay up and play Mario with me
M will not have random but super long catch up talks
D will not be baking yummy-ness for my tummy
C will not be singing silly songs or saying "oh ok, ok, arasoo, ok, byyyyyyyeeeeee"
J will not be having talks about what our lives will be like in 20 years outside in the cold
C will not be teaching me all about asian music
J will not be my study "buddy" and sleep the entire time
Y and I will not get to hang out more often
K will not be there for random rants
K will not go to the gym with me
K, C, A, C, K will not have bi-weekly chill/pray time in the penthouse
J will not tell me to have more fun all the time.

Oh man.

H, J, R, C, K, M, D, C, J, C, J, Y, K, K...I miss you guys.

BUT, I truly am sooo excited to hear about the what the future holds for us and the amazing journey God is going to take us on in the next years.

I love you all more than you know.

trash day

trash day is so gross because there's all this trash all over the sidewalk and it smells so bad to walk around. the other Wednesday (trash day) I was thinking and wondering if me walking around the trash is what God feels like when he "walks" around us and our filthy selves. I wonder what it would be like to look at all that stinky trash so lovingly. hm.

today i wrote you a letter
about what it will be like
when we're sitting side by side

faces

i love looking at people. their expressions...their faces.

some of my favorites...

but i'm sure i will have many new faces to enjoy this year.

ten thursday thoughts

1. I am so thankful for my gfs. Sisters are such a blessing.
2. Servants meeting in 2 weeks, first FG in 2.5 weeks. EEK. I'm so excited. This is a privilege I savor. I love family group. I really enjoy serving and I can't wait for another year playing, learning and growing with a new group :D. Woohoo for staying in Philly.
3. I'd like that flicker to come soon.
4. I think I'm addicted to ice cream. This may be a problem.
5. Life is getting expensive- I'm thankful for 2 roommates to share the expenses with.
6. I realized today that O. is gone for 6 months- this made me sad- I was just starting to get to know her. Yay for an age with internet and e-mail :D.
7. Ethiopian food is yummy...but messy.
8. Laundry is a pain.
9. Some people are online, but always gone- you should just turn off your computer.
10. C.K. leaves tomorrow morning. I'll miss you in Philly, but Boston is lucky to have you. I'll be praying for you my sister.

“But [God] said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).

i like getting to know you. 

you are interesting.

i want to know you more. 

warning: this is not a holy post

Every Friday I get these cravings to do things. I feel like weekends have such potential to do so much...and at the end of every weekend I'm slightly disappointed that my mental checklist has not decreased, but only increased. 

BUT

Today is the beginning of 3 weekends sans plans! So here we go...

1. Korean food

2. Bike up the river schulkill trail thing up...far...

3. Go see the magic gardens

4. Put on an apron, clean the house, then make gloriously delicious homemade food

5. Bake

6. go to the art museum to see the renoir exhibit

7. read

8. hang wall art...or just my mirror would be nice too

9. find a doctor/eye doctor/dentist- be an adult (?)

10. farmers market grocery shopping

11. watch a movie

12. organize, print, frame pictures

13. write a few letters

14. catch up with old friends

15. hangout with my roomies

**EDIT**

So I didn't finish everything...but I had such a good weekend. Hanging out with new friends and old friends. Seriously, seeing/talking to old friend is always so refreshing :D
Such a good reminder of God's provision and promise in service today AND we sang my favorite praise song.
This weekend I feel like God was paying special attention to me :D.