it's a big scary world out there.

Lord, may I see Your plans when I am fearful.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11

_________________________________

Edit 10/14/2010:

Excerpt from girlTalk:

I’ve discovered that most of the bad things I imagined never actually came true. But there have been other trials—ones I never anticipated.

That’s why Elisabeth Elliot’s wise advice has been invaluable to me in fighting fear: “There is no grace for your imagination.”

God does not sprinkle grace over every path my fear takes. He does not rush in with support and encouragement for every doomsday scenario I can imagine.

No, instead He warns me to stay off those paths: “Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil” (Ps. 37:8).       

There is no grace for our imagination. That’s why our fearful imaginings produce bad fruit: anxiety, lack of joy, futile attempts to control.

There is no grace for our imagination. But God does promise sufficient, abundant grace for every real moment of our lives. That’s why the Proverbs 31 woman can “laugh at the future in contrast with being worried or fearful about it” (ESV Study Bible note on Pr. 31:25)

sometimes...

i want to anonymously post something somewhere super public (i.e. times square)

In case you forgot since 2 posts ago...

I LOVE B-1. 

My family. 

Sundays

I love Sundays because I get to chill out with God and His people, but also because it's my day of relaxing and chilling...call it necessary for my introverted-self.

This week I'm COOKING and BAKING yummiiessss...

I'm thinking about these...


don't they look yummy?? (sweet and spicy peach pies)

and maybe this...

(smokey veggie quiche)

Or maybe...since it's getting a little colder...I'll round out my food journey with some Japanese food

Sukiyake

excited :D

My dearest B-1:

I'm soooo excited! I've been praying for you, I've been begging God to teach me to lead you, I have been waiting in expectation of the year that our Lord is preparing for us!


Now I know your faces. Now I can pray for you personally. Now I have met you and am geting to know you! 

B-1. be one. 

 And when they had prayed, the place where they were assembled together was shaken; and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit, and they spoke the word of God with boldness. Now the multitude of those who believed were of one heart and one soul; neither did anyone say that any of the things he possessed was his own, but they had all things in common. - Acts 4:31-32


May this be true. May we be prayer warriors. May the Holy Spirit move among us as we meet. May we speak with boldness of our Lord. May we BE ONE in heart and soul as we share these things. 

songs

Sometimes when listening to worship/praise music I get really sad about the people around me. It makes me so sad that they can't experience the freedom and the worship in these songs. Next to their not knowing our Savior, Lord, Father, Friend- the fact that they cannot join in this worship makes me deeply sad. I feel like the contentment and the join that fills me as I worship our Lord would bring smiles and freedom to so many people in this world.

I'm so glad God created music, I just wish that we could just sing to Him all our lives.

By day the LORD directs his love, at night his song is with me— a prayer to the God of my life.- Psalm 42:8

wonder and amazement.

I have been pretty anxious about this year, especially when it comes to serving, leading, and growing up. Oh a phone call on my way to FNL this past Friday, I was speaking w/ C. about how I really didn't want to go. Not to discourage my college readers, it's not that I don't love you, but for the first time I realized that this is a "college thing". It had been a long day at work and I was beginning to see what others were saying when they spoke about being exhausted by work and then still having to have the energy of a college student. 

Though I was being whinny and reluctant, God had a plan to restore me and encourage me.

Isn't this always the case?

Sometimes I'm overwhelmed by how he just takes care of me. Though he has so many other children to love and care for, he takes time for me. To show me that he's going out of his way because he cares about what I feel and what I'm going through. Sometimes I feel like God loves me the most. (This is not Biblical I know, but it's incomprehensible to me how he could love us all with this crazy individuality!)

It was a fun time of games and etcetera, finally P. D. said a 5-10 minute mini-sermon. WOW. It was clearly very freshman-directed- make your decisions carefully, work towards the person you want to be in four years, come out the other end happy with who you have become and what you stand for. I was so moved. I sat there thinking back on my four years. If I began to tell you who I meant to become when I came in as a freshman, we'd be here hours, but know that it is not who I became. I sat there in tears so overwhelmed by how God has held on to me so tight these four years, especially in the moments I wanted to run and hide. I sat there not consumed by the poor choices I made, but the amazing renewal He gave me. I sat there so extremely thankful that He cared for me to allow me to experience everything that I did and how he has been so patient with me as I have stumbled and tripped over following his plans into young adulthood.  

My choices were not always the right ones, but He has given me the heart to seek Him through those choices. Though I had many bumps and bruises- My God is mighty. 

waiting...

Lately I've been having CRAZY dreams. I don't know what they mean. Some of them are so real that when I wake up I don't know if they actually happened or not. They're so vivid it's crazy.

Whilst reading through Daniel, I wish more and more that God would bring me someone like Daniel to interpret my dreams...

WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME? I'M LISTENING....

bookworms

For my fellow bookworms, Cumberland Valley Bible Book service, specializes in Reformed and Puritan works is having their 'Annual Customer Appreciation Sale' today and tomorrow (September 8 and 9). In my quick glances books are significantly cheaper than cover price. Just thought I passed on the info as it was given to me :D

sometimes old friends are just the pick up that we need. :D

move-in

I was just reading C's blog post (who by the way probably has no clue that I even read his blog...maybe a little creepy, but nonetheless) about moving in and it struck me that I will not be moving it.

H will not move into Magee
J will not yell at people for breathing too loudly while studying
R and C will no longer have funny fights
C and K will not be walking with me to church on Sundays
K will not stay up and play Mario with me
M will not have random but super long catch up talks
D will not be baking yummy-ness for my tummy
C will not be singing silly songs or saying "oh ok, ok, arasoo, ok, byyyyyyyeeeeee"
J will not be having talks about what our lives will be like in 20 years outside in the cold
C will not be teaching me all about asian music
J will not be my study "buddy" and sleep the entire time
Y and I will not get to hang out more often
K will not be there for random rants
K will not go to the gym with me
K, C, A, C, K will not have bi-weekly chill/pray time in the penthouse
J will not tell me to have more fun all the time.

Oh man.

H, J, R, C, K, M, D, C, J, C, J, Y, K, K...I miss you guys.

BUT, I truly am sooo excited to hear about the what the future holds for us and the amazing journey God is going to take us on in the next years.

I love you all more than you know.