Eu quero te servir, eu quero te obedecer
Viver tua vontade, refletir tua verdade
Te honrar com minha vida, em tudo te adorar
Mestre, amigo, amado Jesus
Esse é o meu querer.
Cada vez que eu tocar num ombro amigo
Cada vez que eu fizer o que já não se faz
Cada vez que, em silêncio, eu doar a outra face
Serei tuas mãos, venha tua graça e o teu amor

a death and 2 announcements

announcement 1:
i'm sure you've noticed, or maybe you haven't, but i stopped commenting on my reading throughout this month. Rest assured, I am NOT done, but I WILL finish by the 30th. But the real reason I stopped writing was because it became too much about reading to have something to have something to post and the emphasis on all the things in this previous post got lost in the midst. also, i started to feel a little like a preacher, which i'm not, and less like a girl working on her faith.

announcement 2:

this blog has gone through many changes,

at first it was about blessings

then

it was about sorrow

then

it became about Bible reading

and now

i'm confused about its direction

so...the blog as it stands is about to be killed.

the initial goal was to document my year as it was set aside to sacrifice and grow. my year is still about growth. it's still about imperfect sacrifices. there will still be great moments and hard moments. and most importantly God will still be present in the midst of it all.

i'm just uncertain about how to document all of this. so there might be sporadic posts. or maybe i'll start posting more regularly with daily posts. or...the possibilities are endless. so i'm leaving you hanging a little bit, but i think it's better than you thinking i fell off the face of the earth.

have you ever...

felt so blessed you are in awe that people could be so blessing?
felt so loved you because of pie for your birthday?
felt so cared for by all the people you care for?
been overwhelmed by the way God does community?

honestly, i'm still in complete awe. the theme of my year has been love...or give love, but last night I was given love so far beyond the love that i give.

when i find my words again, i will come back and describe.

for now I will leave you with this
Philemon 1:7
For we have great joy and consolation in your love, because the heart of the saints have been refreshed by you, brother.

love language.

For all those who are not with my Grace Covenant Church circles.
One of my friends started the Jubilee Project, where they make videos for good causes. They've been doing an awesome job raising money for LiNK (Liberty in North Korea), Liberian Widows Initiative, and many others. Here is their most recent video. Sponsors are donating 1 penny per view-so watch and share!

delinquent poster

but I leave you with this.

Joshua 3:5
Joshua told the people, “Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the LORD will do amazing things among you."

day 3/4:leviticus (where are you numbers?)

so I'm a book behind, about right now I should be finishing numbers and I'm just finishing Leviticus. I'm going to have to find some extra time this weekend to catch up.

but here's a post since I didn't get to it yesterday.

Leviticus...you are a book full of laws and many many sacrifices...but...you have taught me.
1) I am so thankful for Jesus because I'm not sure how they remembered how much oil to mix with the grain dependent on the cooking method (see leviticus 2). No, but really, It's pretty amazing the work that they went through to keep themselves clean and yet how much do we take for granted this grace we are given. Even more so, I think the lesson is in the consciousness of sin. Often times I think that I sin without a second thought or as a natural reaction to something, but if I had to find a certain ram of a certain age then cut it and give a certain amount of blood while taking the body minus certain body parts to be burned in a certain way...ugh...I get tired thinking about it...the point is, does it take all that to make me conscious of my sin?

2) There were a few verses I really liked
10:3 And Moses said to Aaron, "This is what the LORD spoke, saying: 'By those who come near Me I must be regarded as holy; And before all the people I must be glorified.'" This is after the sons of Aaron are devoured because they offered a profane offering. May I always give my offerings purely. May this month of partying be pure of heart.
15:31 "Thus you shall separate the children of Israel from their uncleanness, lest they die in their uncleanness when they defile My tabernacle that is among them." The law is in place to protect their Israelites from themselves. The picture in my head of a baby who is willing to sit in it's own fecal matter. It could sit there and play in it and not even really mind. But the problem is that there is so much filth and bacteria that will cause it to get sick and die leaving behind a place completely defiled and gross. This is like what God is saying to the Israelites. You are willing to sit in your fecal matter, but I am putting these things in place so that you will not do this and die.

Numbers come soon :)

Overwhelmed by life and God right now. Reading for this crazy challenge has made God so real in every second (because I seriously have been reading like constantly just to keep up with my goal), but honestly, so exhausting. There are convictions left and right. Where do I begin?

On a separate note, I'm going to train for a sprint (maybe olympic...depending on how this goes) triatholon in June of 2011. Anyone up to do some running? biking? swimming with me? I've been wanting to do this for a while. I was looking up some stuff on it yesterday and I found a 7 month training schedule. I have 7 months until the end of my anoauxano. So perfect. So here we go.

More on these new developments later :)

Wake up to Jesus

I added a new song for your morning :)
 (Check the grooveshark-->)

Extremely blessed by this.

In the morning, when I rise
In the morning, when I rise
In the morning, when I rise

Give me Jesus.
Give me Jesus, 
Give me Jesus.
You can have all this world,
Just give me Jesus.

day 2: exodus

i'm behind already in my schedule of reading/posting. AH. I will do this!


But my post for yesterday: 
i find comfort in knowing that even moses was at times insecure in his abilities.


Exodus 4:10-13
Then Moses said to the LORD, “O my Lord, I am not eloquent, neither before nor since You have spoken to Your servant; but I am slow of speech and slow of tongue.” So the LORD said to him, “Who has made man’s mouth? Or who makes the mute, the deaf, the seeing, or the blind? Have not I, the LORD?  Now therefore, go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall say.” But he said, “O my Lord, please send by the hand of whomever else You may send.” 

fruits

**please imagine me saying this as you read it because it will probably not be coherent, but i'm just really happy**

seriously, God is soooo good. 

sometimes i get discouraged at how I serve him, but in so many small ways this week he's been encouraging me.

i know with certainty that it's him, not me. and with that certainty...it feels so much better. i let go of the insecurity that i'm not schooled enough or wise enough or loving enough. 

i'm super encouraged by welcoming. i feel the barriers breaking, i feel relationships building, i feel God moving, i feel love in that room. it's amazing. when i first "took over" welcoming i told them that to love this church, we must love one another. there must be growth in our individual lives which would produce love among the team which would then overflow into the church. not sure if anyone else feels it...but it's growing and it's awesome. 

day 1: Genesis

I love the creation story, because when I think of it it's like this perfect God creating one of those box models we made in elementary school and putting in everything He wanted it in it. I can almost see Him smiling ("it was good") as each little piece was put in perfectly. I mean, I know this isn't what's happening, but to me there's this kind of childlike joy in this perfect creation He's made. I realize that it doesn't stay like that, but for the first chapter of the Word, it's pretty sweet.

I love how in Genesis we see God revealing different sides/character of Himself, it's like He wants us to know who He is from the beginning of this scripture book He's given us. This is such good deals (as some would say).
1:26 - trinity
all of chapter 1- creator God (Elohim)
1:21 - sacrifice
8:21 - forgiving
16:13 - the God who Sees (El Roi)
17:1 - Almighty God (El Shaddai)
22:14-15 - the God who provides (Jehovah-Jireh)

There are 2 verses that break my heart in Genesis and I can't get over them as they ring in my head.
Genesis 2:18 - It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.
Genesis 3:16 - To the woman He said: I will greatly multiply your sorrow and conception; In pain you shall bring forth children; Your desire shall be for your husband, And he shall rule over you.
The word comparable in the chapter 2 verse is what gets me. She was made a helper comparable. Not less than, not weaker than, not less wise than, not less able, but comparable. But this comparability is not anymore because now in chapter 3 because of sin- he rules over her. Submission because of Eve's sin. It's ok, I'm not going to rant and rave about submission because I believe in submission - to me I'm ok with Him having this role. It just boggles my mind that Eve's sin caused comparable to go to less than. I think it's because I'm a sister who is in this age where all my friends are getting married, I just can't get over how this woman could be so weak - and in her weakness brings her husband with her.

Sorry to end on a strange note.

I will add further later today on what I read since this was yesterday's post...which I didn't get to because of the 8 hour hangout with my family group B-1! (shameless plug)

PARTY!!!

I was meeting up with Y yesterday and she asked my birthday...and so I said November...

and then it hit me! It's my birthday month!...and I almost forgot!

Wow. I should PARTY. 

live it up. 

I'm just getting old.

so I should PARTY.

while I can still walk.

I mean, I can barely stay up past 9:30pm these days.

so my time is short.

Ok, but for real,

I started thinking how I should celebrate

the fact that this is my first birthday

where there will be no exams

to cloud the PARTYING.

But after a much more coherent strain of thoughts,

I started thinking about how I want to begin my 24th year of life

I have 2 years until the quarter-century mark

Did you ever have those thoughts:

By the time I'm 25 I'll be...fill in the blank.

consistent in my walk

settled at a job

married

serving

I've fluctuated on my fill in the blanks, but when I think of it now,

I live so much on who I want to be that day

if God is good today, I will be joyful

if I have meetings, I will be tired

if I have time, I'll invest in people

Ok, I guess that's not so much how my thoughts go everyday,

but subconsciously, honestly, I can see the fluctuations

in my emotions/attitudes depending on the external/environmental. 

I am grateful that the Lord has grown me to realize that

the measure of my faith is no longer in a place of such fluctuation,

but often I am not working towards the person I want to be

then.

So this birthday month, I want to work on that person.

I want to work on the person I want to be then.

Not living outside of the present, 

but living with purpose to be the

woman I know God wants me to be

then.

Please celebrate my birthday month with me 

and join me in this endeavor

I will be reading through the Old Testament throughout the month of November. 

I hope that as I do this, 

He will encourage me to be 

extravagant

in the ways that I live out my life for Him.

To not just expect growth, but push for growth.

To live every year with a purpose.

As He has lead his people through and out of the wilderness

He has cared for them

He has rebuked them and taught them through His prophets

He prepared the way for His glory to come down as man

He has used men and women of faith

to do His will.

I know that this month

 He will lead me and you out of our wildernesses

He will care for us

He will rebuke and teach us through His prophets

He will prepare the way for more of His glory to come down on our hearts

He will use the men and women of faith to

increase our faith to do His will.

Come let us be extravagant.

PARTY WITH ME FOR MY BIRTHDAY MONTH.

*I hope to post daily a verse/passage that has encouraged me,and I hope that if you join me

you too will feel the urging to post either anonymously or not*

**We are already down 5 days...so let's get to it!**

proud.

post has been removed.
i am sorry if there were hurt feelings because i picked specific pictures.

i am proud of you and the way you serve.