ano auxano

I've been"if" thinking today. If I moved then...If I had more time then...If I did YA stuff then...If I decided to go back to school then...If I etcera etcera. 

But then I thought some more and I realize that:

If I had not come to Penn, then I would not have the friendships or experiences that have changed me in to a different person

If I had not overslept Big Fat Breakfast those 2 Sundays Freshman Year I would probably never have come to GCC or have the community that has been with me and taught me.

If I had not talked to the praise band leader that one Sunday, then I would never have gone to family group where God met me in many ways and provided me with older sisters to challenge me.

If I had not utterly messed up Sophomore year, crushing a friendship really hard, and falling so far from God, then I would not know restoration, I would not understand forgiveness, I would not have been able to realize how God held on to me despite my rebellion, hatred, and mistrust. 

If I had not had an older sister who chose to disciple me, meet with me weekly, memorize the Word with me throughout the Summer despite the distance, I would not crave discipleship, I would not have learned the need for older sisters who are open and willing to sacrifice time to pour in to people despite their need to grow.

If I had not served Senior year, I would not have had the chance to have two relationships with people who love God so much that they push me to want fervor in my prayer life, to want to give up all my plans for God's, who want true and Christ-like relationships. 

If I had gone my way and run away from His calling for my life for this year, then I would have been in Connecticut working, but I would not have experienced the joy of ministry in such a powerful way.

Basically, God knows best.

Many are the plans in a man's heart,
       but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.
Proverbs 19:21