wonder and amazement.

I have been pretty anxious about this year, especially when it comes to serving, leading, and growing up. Oh a phone call on my way to FNL this past Friday, I was speaking w/ C. about how I really didn't want to go. Not to discourage my college readers, it's not that I don't love you, but for the first time I realized that this is a "college thing". It had been a long day at work and I was beginning to see what others were saying when they spoke about being exhausted by work and then still having to have the energy of a college student. 

Though I was being whinny and reluctant, God had a plan to restore me and encourage me.

Isn't this always the case?

Sometimes I'm overwhelmed by how he just takes care of me. Though he has so many other children to love and care for, he takes time for me. To show me that he's going out of his way because he cares about what I feel and what I'm going through. Sometimes I feel like God loves me the most. (This is not Biblical I know, but it's incomprehensible to me how he could love us all with this crazy individuality!)

It was a fun time of games and etcetera, finally P. D. said a 5-10 minute mini-sermon. WOW. It was clearly very freshman-directed- make your decisions carefully, work towards the person you want to be in four years, come out the other end happy with who you have become and what you stand for. I was so moved. I sat there thinking back on my four years. If I began to tell you who I meant to become when I came in as a freshman, we'd be here hours, but know that it is not who I became. I sat there in tears so overwhelmed by how God has held on to me so tight these four years, especially in the moments I wanted to run and hide. I sat there not consumed by the poor choices I made, but the amazing renewal He gave me. I sat there so extremely thankful that He cared for me to allow me to experience everything that I did and how he has been so patient with me as I have stumbled and tripped over following his plans into young adulthood.  

My choices were not always the right ones, but He has given me the heart to seek Him through those choices. Though I had many bumps and bruises- My God is mighty.